Earn your Dinner

By: Greg & Ann Lawler

The bright spots in our very dull social life were Ray and Linda coming to dinner, or our dining at their house.  Of course, Ray always had something interesting, and borderline crackpot, to liven the discussion. 

The routine at our house was delightful – Ray would come in the front door, lie on the floor with the dog – hard to tell who enjoyed it more – and then provide the dog a treat or two.  He would arise, take a sip of his wine, and begin to talk.

To give a flavor of the conversation - one evening, after the normal preliminaries, Ray announced that he wanted to talk about pornography.  Of course, everyone ignored him.  So we sit down to dinner and Ray says, ok, let’s talk about pornography.  The expected response – Ray, is the problem too much or too little?  Undeterred, he launched into some sociological explanation he must have gathered from God knows where on the internet.  Fortunately, there was enough wine that laughter defeated the conversation.

Dinner at the Tiernan’s was equally eventful.  Ray would complain he overcooked the fish on the grill, even though we thought it was delightful, and his peppers on the grill were fantastic.  Very often, Ray would lament something in their perfect house that didn’t work and his inability to fix it.  So off we would go, had to earn your dinner, must be a Providence thing. 

Video of bathroom repair.        

Light of our Lives

By: Joan McIlhenny

Ray lit up and enriched all our lives. He was absolutely wonderful... kind, considerate, loving, funny, affable, generous, genuine... a dear, dear friend... I will always cherish his memory.

This is a picture I took of the sky on the day that Ray passed away. I love you so much. Thinking about you all the time.

Coach Ray

By: The Bodurian Family

Ray was a wonderful man. We have great memories of the many years he gave of himself coaching our little guys. The many Saturday soccer games and all those wonderful Thanksgiving games in memory of Jim Parker.
He was a true role model for our boys. A man of accomplishment, quick wit and warm heart. He will be missed by all.
Please extend our heartfelt condolences to your lovely family. May Ray Rest In Peace and may your family find peace and love.

Ray’s Best Friends

By: Elle

My sister (who was also my great aunt), and I had the great privilege and pleasure of being Ray’s best friends (along with Oliver and Lila of course). My sister, Chloe, first met Ray and Linda in 2005 and I in 2013.  It was love at first sights.

Most days one or both of us would pick Ray up in the afternoon to take him for a walk.

He paid us in biscuits.  Good biscuits but we would have done it for free because he was so much fun.  He and Linda came over to our house for dinner many times and we were invited to their house many times as well.  Biscuits were always involved, and yes, they were tasty and plentiful.  We did lots of things together.

We attended every gravy bowl of our lives and as you can see from the photo, we were very welcome.

We grilled dinner and watched football together.

When Ray wasn’t feeling well we dashed over to take care of him, although it’s pretty clear he didn’t leave us much room in the bed.

We loved and admired Ray as everyone with a brain did.  We hung on his every interesting word.

I am sad but grateful to have had such a great best friend.  Ray was every dog’s dream guy.  We will miss him very much.

Power Lunch!

By: Gerry Hawkins

I feel very fortunate to have known Ray and will never forget him. Ray was a great person, excellent lawyer, devoted family man and good friend. I was terribly saddened to see Ray deal with the increasingly debilitating effects of prostate cancer during the last ten years, and admired the strength he showed in fighting this disease. Ray willed himself to see his children become successful young adults, Liz and Emily’s weddings and the birth of Ty, and I know how much he wanted to see Liz and Kyle’s child this summer.

I knew Ray for over 35 years, starting shortly before I joined Elias & Matz, which soon became Elias, Matz, Tiernan & Herrick, in 1983. What I remember most about Ray is not any particular story or incident, but his fundamental decency. Ray was a very generous person, and each year during partnership meetings at the firm he gave up compensation to which he was clearly entitled so that others could benefit. Ray was incredibly successful because he was very smart, personable and genuine. During the years we practiced law together I often asked Ray for advice because I knew he had great analytical skills and judgment and he had a knack for quickly identifying the most practical solutions to difficult issues. Ray also was much fun to talk with generally, and indeed I think I will miss most talking with him during lunches and at other times about what was going on in the world. During these conversations I learned so much from Ray and always was impressed by how insightful he was about current issues generally and particularly those affecting our country. I often thought he missed his calling by not pursuing a career in politics.

Notwithstanding his professional accomplishments, Ray was very modest and humble. Ray practiced law in the capitol of the free world and became a giant in the banking industry, but he never forgot his small-town New England heritage or failed to appreciate his good fortune in life. Ray cared deeply for others, including of course his family and friends, the legal and nonlegal staff at the firm and the young inner-city African American girls who seek an education and foundation for life at The Washington School for Girls.

Ray had many interests outside the law. As you all know, Ray was very athletic before he suffered the debilitating effects of prostate cancer, and particularly enjoyed playing tennis and the annual family Thanksgiving soccer games. In recent years I especially enjoyed talking with Ray about the books he was reading and the shows he was streaming.

Ray’s greatest accomplishment and legacy is his family. I know how lucky and grateful Ray felt to have met and married Linda, and how much his children and other members of his family meant to him. Ray was incredibly proud of all of you, and did everything he could to ensure that you were healthy, happy and successful in all of your personal and professional endeavors. Ray left you way too soon, but he gave you a great way to help you handle life’s inevitable challenges. In addition to remembering the example he set and what he stood for, you likely will find the best way to address any problem by simply asking yourself “What would my dad do?”

I will continue to think of Ray and you often and follow you with great interest.

With sympathy, best wishes, peace and love,
Gerry

What Really Matters

By: Kulsum and Khaleel Ahmed

As Ray and Linda’s neighbors for the last 11 years, we got to know many different sides of Ray: some expected, some unexpected, and some just downright hilarious. Ray was so incredibly proud of his children. He would glowingly tell us about what they were doing, but also about their different life events. He was determined to be a part of these events, despite his health, and his grit and resilience, together with Linda’s rock steady support, ensured that for so many years. His big heart though had room for many more children too. His interest and the time that he spent talking to our children about their experiences and their future plans, and his mentoring of them meant a lot to us. So, it was no surprise to learn about his support for the Washington School for Girls, and the sincere pride he took in that excellent institution and its students and their achievements. The amazing work he did for this school spoke to the kindness he had for so many. Then there was the time when he decided he would come to my Qigong (aka moving meditation) class to see if it could help with his pain management. However, on that day, we happened to be the only two in the class! He goodnaturedly went through all the exercises, without telling the instructor that he had just had two hip transplants! Instead he proudly explained to him that his wife was a pediatric cardiologist and that we were neighbors. Over the years, there were many interactions – just a quick chat over putting out the trash every week or more elaborate get-togethers. Each one brings its own memories. “It’s just a pre-dinner snack” he said with a smile, as he and Linda rolled out a multi-course meal on their beautiful balcony, surrounded by trees, one summer evening last year. Or, “look at those peonies,” his last words to us, as he walked by with Linda, their daughters and their first grandson, out on a walk in May. Ray always knew what really mattered in the end. He understood that the only things we leave behind that last are our values, passed on through our children, the memories of our interactions with others, and the impact of our actions to make a positive difference in the lives of others. In all these ways, Ray Tiernan left behind a huge legacy. We feel very privileged to have known him.

Happy Moments

By: Richard DelleFave

Ray came into my life on the first day of orientation at Brown. What a lucky day for me! Ray’s sense of adventure was contagious. Some of my happiest memories are of Ray roping me in to one of his crazy road trips. And that streak of mischief stayed with him always, inspiring us all not to take ourselves so seriously. Ray is one of the finest men I have ever known. My heartfelt sympathy to Linda and his lovely family. Here’s a picture of Ray, Tyler and myself sharing a happy moment together.

Uncle Ray (2.0!)

By: Melissa and Garrett Tiernan

We loved Ray, or “Uncle” Ray as we knew him from when we were very young!

Ray was close in age to our father, Peter, his father’s youngest brother. Ray was always so generous with help and encouragement. His pranks and dry humor, often signaled with a sly wink, were favorites: coming out of the water at Green Hill with blood on his leg, saying it was probably from a shark grazing him (actually from previous yard work at Joe and Ginnie’s); Ray trading the floor and embellishing with my Dad in telling the family legends and shenanigans, with full impressions and raucous, side-splitting laughter all around.

I was welcomed into Linda, Ray, and Lizzie’s home in the mid 80s for a summer internship at the law firm. What an amazing and life-changing experience! An introvert among extroverts in the Tiernan clan, I think I was a great puzzle to Ray and he was exceedingly patient with my slow immersion in all DC had to offer. From my side, though, he and Linda opened an entire wondrous world of intelligence, excitement, adventure, history, art and modeled an intense passion for life, work and family. I was in awe of him in the office, and loved seeing him in the whirl of it. I loved going to the Bank Board, sometimes sprinting in stocking feet by Lafayette Square and the WH, (even once being stopped by the motorcade!) with reams of documents to get the all-important time-stamp before deadline. He trusted us to get…it…done! Ray took me for my first oysters at the Old Ebbitt Grill. I mostly rode the metro, but he also let me drive his Saab in DC traffic…maybe to test his heart rate? Always an adventurer, that Ray. I spent hours in the museums and parks and he tried, alas without any success, to teach me tennis! But I also saw him in his role as a husband and father, so sweetly in love with Linda and Lizzie. I’ll always be grateful for the gift of that time with them and I still make Linda’s incredible chicken tarragon salad, to the raves of all.

Over the years, we were away across the country and regretfully out of touch for much of the family’s growing and thriving. But we always heard from Ray about how excited and proud he was of each of the kids and of Linda and her accomplishments. We loved how he stayed close to our parents and we know they both cherished the relationship.

But Garrett has the true Ray anecdote to share. We were trying to piece together our memories of him in our home in Rhode Island when we were kids. Our house was an off-campus stop for him, with the usual meals, laundry, and my Mom, Barbara, lending her excellent typing skills to unravel the pages of barely legible legal pads into Brown and law school assignments. We were trying to see if we actually remembered this or just remembered the impressions and being told about it later, since at the time Ray was at Brown we would have been just toddlers, 6 and 5 at most. But then we realized it was more likely law school…perhaps on breaks from DC? We would have been more like 8 and 7 yrs old then. Garret was able to pin it down with a burning memory that says it all about Ray’s straight-forward intelligence and possibly sly desire to shock. Garrett recalls: I remember it so clearly, because Ray would stay in my room when he was there and I would sleep in the sewing room across the hall. I remember him sitting at my little desk studying and I came in and asked him, “Hey, Uncle Ray, what are you studying?” and his answer, I’ll never forget, as my 7 year old self heard him say: “Manslaughter! I’m studying manslaughter, Garrett.” He then continued to explain it all in detail; Gar says he’s always remembered it and it may have kept him out of a few bar fights and made him careful to have everyone wear life-vests while on his boat. Thanks, Ray!

So glad you have had such a fulfilling and wonderful life, loved and admired deeply by so many. We’ll miss your intensity, kindness, love, pride of family and community, and your incredible Tiernan storytelling. May you rest in peace and live on in all of us! Much love to Lizzie, Emily, John, Mike, and Linda, all the spouses, grands and grands to be, Tiernan siblings, extended family and friends.

With Love, Melissa and Garrett Tiernan

The Proposal

By: Jeryl and Kenneth Malloy

It was late August 2015. Emily and Conor were about to be engaged. There was a giant swell of anticipation and excitement amongst those of us “in the know”. Linda and Ray had arrived as our guests in Little Compton, RI where a stealth plan was underway.

We had some time to kill before the big moment and decided to get our swimsuits on and head to the beach. It was a gorgeous day and the kids suggested we all jump off the 20 ft high Bluff. Ray had recently finished treatments and commented how he was quite pale and out of shape. I thought to myself “good I can sit this one out with Ray and just watch from the shore“. To my surprise, as you can see from the photo, determined Ray jumped right off the bluff joining the kids in the waters below. I was impressed to say the least and he, I know, felt invigorated.

What was also impressive to me, was how well Ray knew Linda. We found out that he hadn’t told her about the impending proposal and when asked why he said “ because Linda can’t keep a secret.” I felt bad for Linda, but thought Ray must know best. It was a challenge for the remainder of the time to keep Linda in the dark. How was I going to hide my nervous excitement and pretend this was just another ordinary day in LC?  Conor’s proposal plan was set. He and Emily were to play a couple of holes of golf and he’d get down on one knee on the 2nd hole by the water, as the sun was beginning to set. We had a plan too. Spy from a distance and then celebrate. It was time to put our plans in action. We brought Linda and Ray up to our rooftop which overlooks the golf course.  Linda assumed it was your basic “come see our view”. We took out the binoculars and cameras and after taking in the view we began to spy on Em and Con playing golf. I can only imagine what Linda was thinking.

Ray handed Linda the binoculars, but she was reluctant to focus on Emily and Conor, thinking what is the big deal? But, we could see that Conor had gotten down on one knee. Ray then shouted “look Linda look.“ Linda quickly focused in catching Emily jumping up and down with delight as Conor slid a ring on her finger. It was priceless to see the look on Linda’s face as she lowered the binoculars and realized what was happening. Tears of joy and shrieks of excitement were to follow. In that moment I realized truly, why Ray had kept the proposal a secret. It was to give Linda the thrill of seeing Emily and Conor’s engagement unfold before her eyes. He was so right. He knew her so well.

The kids rushed over from the golf course and the celebrations continued into the night. It was truly one of the most memorable times of our lives.

We will cherish it and Ray for all our days.

Love,
Jeryl and Kenneth Malloy

A Brief (For Me) History of the First 15 Years

By: Jamie Kaplan

“True friends stab you in the front.”
- Oscar Wilde

Ray and I lived by this creed for our 51-year friendship. I write only of the initial 15 years, which are not as widely known — albeit perhaps more colorful — as Ray’s and Linda’s 36 years together.

Ray and I met the first week of college in line at the dining hall. He seemed like an affable fellow whose Cranston accent belied that he spent the previous year at a toney New England prep school. Brown had insisted that Ray spend a year at the finishing school to polish his rough edges. The effort failed miserably, another reason that attracted me to Ray. Finally, my then 12-year-old townie girlfriend lived in Ray’s hometown. That coincidence of gargantuan proportion sealed the deal on our friendship.

As our friendship progressed, it soon became quite apparent that Ray and I shared the same level of intellectual curiosity and academic work ethic. We also strongly believe in the necessity to regularly supplement our courses with a potpourri of extracurricular lofty learning experiences. These included TV offerings full of invaluable teaching and insight like the the Who, What, Where Game, Hollywood Squares, and Jeopardy. We recognized that Brown had no professors who were nearly as erudite as Wally Cox (upper left-hand corner square) or possessed the sheer creative genius of Paul Lynde (middle square).

Our college years passed ever so quickly, and Ray and I made a seamless transition together to law schools in Washington, D.C. Ray’s legendary religious fervor led him to Catholic University. For similar reasons, I chose Georgetown.  We shared a rented house with two Brown classmates and the large, welcoming Roach family. Even though the Roach family far outnumbered us — counting only the offspring that lived in our toaster oven — they refused to pay rent, a major issue for 4 recent college graduates with no money or skills to earn an income.

After a mere 5 or 6 weeks, seams emerged in my transition, and I decided to leave law school and Washington in search of a destiny that was not manifest. I ultimately landed in California just the same. Not one to bear grudges, Ray never forgave me for leaving.

Ray and I remained in regular contact, and I rejoined him in Washington in 1980.  He had worked at the Federal Home Loan Bank Board, the agency that regulated the totally corrupt system of the savings and loan industry. He left the agency in disgust with the industry’s practices, and began to build a law practice representing major players in the field. Always with his integrity intact, Ray had an uncanny ability to persuade regulators that his clients’ malfeasance was somehow legitimate. Needless to say, his practice boomed. His travel was extensive and exhausting, but still didn’t explain how he once confused Little Rock with town of El Dorado in Arkansas.

Fast forward a few years to when Ray and his housemate, Tim Durkin, hosted a party that was a rager by any standard. Many guests, including me, met at least one person who they believed would be their life mates. Unfortunately, none of us remembered their potential life mates the next morning, except that one guest who never forgets anything vividly remembered Ray. She was a sweet, innocent, classically midwestern, pediatric cardiologist named Linda Bradley.

A day or two after the party, Linda happened to jog past Ray’s house on what must have been a training run for an Ironman Triathlon, judging by the distance from her house to Ray’s neighborhood. Her timing was remarkably fortuitous as Ray was sitting on his front porch when Linda was coincidentally winding down from her training goal of a marathon for the day.

Ray’s eyes met Linda’s and the die was cast. Almost immediately after this encounter, Ray’s friends all transformed into Jewish mothers, and badgered him not to let pass an accomplished doctor with a bright future. The truth is that he was no match for the now fiercely determined Dr. Bradley.

A few years later, Ray and Linda were married in a most convenient place for their many guests from the Washington area, Franconia Notch, New Hampshire. Indeed, they are oft-cited as the historical first of today’s norm for millennials —The Destination Wedding.

The wedding was held in a classic New England church. The service was moving, especially when (as I’ve reported elsewhere) the Pastor defined Ray’s and Linda’s true love in the words of Justice Potter Stewart: “I know it when I see it.” A heartfelt description, but the only problem was that Justice Stewart used those words to define hard-core pornography. At this point, most of the attendees cried, to avoid the more normal response.

And now to you, Ray-Ray. That we remained dear friends for more than 50 years is a tribute to you. You overlooked my many imperfections and were always there for me in times of need.  I’m equally grateful for the laughter, honesty, mutual respect, and love for one another and each other’s families that were the constant threads throughout our friendship. And when one of us jokingly stabbed the other, it was always in the front. You will be a special part of me for the rest of my life.

Ray Pride

By: Jon Billings

Ray and I became friends through our daughters’ Pride Hockey program. It’s an amazing, challenging program designed for young women who take the sport seriously and want to play at the college level. In 2001 the Pride did a hockey road trip to Norway and Sweden to play against college level and Olympic prep programs.

Kush Sidu, the amazing coach of the Pride, decided that parents had to room together as opposed to getting individual rooms for solidarity’s sake. My son Jeb who was 11 was traveling with me.

When Kush disclosed this housing rule I immediately broke into a cold sweat. Jeb broke into a cold sweat.  I looked over at Ray. He was pale. Our simultaneous gulps were audible. We knew we were going to have to shack up together. Not at all what we had in mind.

We were determined to make the best of it. With a lot of bravado Ray, Jeb and I carried our bags up to our room when we arrived at the old hotel in the middle of nowhere.

It was a tiny old pale green room with a tiny single bed and an old television set. Silence and more sweating. Then Ray realized that there was a Murphy bed in the wall. He yanked it down. It settled next to the other bed. More sweating... then like any good father I gently told Jeb he would be sleeping in the middle. He flatly refused. Silence. Ray retreated to the bathroom to wash up and change. I think we all slept in our street clothes. We grunted goodnights and turned off the lights. Its dead quiet. Jeb whispers to me he can’t sleep. I whisper back that we can do multiplication tables. Ray is literally a foot away from me. We get through the 8’s and Jeb whispers it’s not working. I whisper back that we can say the Rosary.  Ray springs from the bed and with that Ray optimism suggests watching TV immediately. It might have had one channel.

And there the 3 of us spent the remainder of the night...tucked in together.

One of my claims to fame is that I slept with Ray Tiernan!

A Life with Ray

By: Lee & Toni Verstandig

Brown 73, Ray a Senior and Lee the “Dean”; Ray the stand-out Hockey player, #12 showed his determination!

Years later @ Landon, 3rd grade, John & Grant “team up” and the wild ride resumes again!

Middle School father-son soccer match where Ray insisted, with his persuasive charms, the Dean must join him on the field.  Well, we both did and staggered off the field, but boy we were competitive and laughed all the way to the ice machine! 

The boys graduated from Landon, and sure enough, we are back to Brown, this time with Linda & Toni joining us.  

John started off with a bit of a roommate glitch, and John got Grant.  To celebrate the boys arrival, the parents went to Federal Hill-Little Italy, Ray made it clear that we needed to behave.  It seemed that Ray, the “Irishman” and Lee, knew far more than the spouses about who hung out at the “famous” Camille’s Roman Garden.  

We were met with polyester laden guys, and the wildest big hair girls.  Toni and Linda, were wild-eyed, about the scene and a scene it was.  Ray kept a firm hand on those two, somewhat more adventurous women! 

Ray loved his literary lunch-dinner discussions with Lee, one involving a book on Churchill moderated by his granddaughter, together with  Churchill’s wines and champagne.  Fortunately, that was an Uber night! 

Our time with Ray was filled with the most spirited discussions, best wines, good food, of course Toni was always advising Ray which he may or may not have been embraced.  Sitting around the table, whether it was for regular family gatherings, just the four of us or on our wonderful trips to Napa, Rome & Venice, Little Compton and multiple trips to Aspen. The Verstandig family loved sharing the Christmas Eve tradition of the Italian Feast of the 7 seven fishes with the Tiernans.  Ray of course was always well versed and kept Toni on the straight and arrow with menu selections so as to never deviate.  

We always laughed, enjoyed each and every moment and created a rich book of new memories.  

They are lasting and we are the better for having Ray in our lives!

Dr. Feelgood

By: Jamie Kaplan

One of the traits that I loved about Ray — not unlike me — was his propensity to express views on subjects well beyond his expertise. He regularly opined about medical diagnosis, care, and treatment. Not surprisingly, Ray’s views in this area typically were inaccurate at best, and Linda referred to him as “Dr. Feelgood.” Quite often, when Linda responded to a friend’s question about a medical issue, she would look with her playful smile at Ray and ask, “So, what does Dr. Feelgood think?” She had the ability to tame Ray like no other.

I Know It When I See It

By: Jamie Kaplan

Oh the stories I could tell . . . here’s a brief vignette:

Ray & Linda were married in Franconia, New Hampshire. The wedding took place in a classic, small-town New England church, and the minister fit the milieu perfectly. At one point during the service, he spoke of Linda’s & Ray’s obvious true love for one another. According to him, their true love was best defined in the words of Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart, “I know it when I see it.”  The only problem is that Justice Stewart used those words in an opinion to define hard-core pornography.

The Fibber!

By: Tyler Posey

Ray and I were classmates at Brown, which Ray always referred to as Brown UNIVERSITY, so that people would know he graduated from a real college, not just a color.  We became great friends at Brown UNIVERSITY, even though I was from the South and said my “R”s funny.  Over the last 50 years, we never lost touch, though I suppose there were small gaps in communication, as in any relationship.  Ray would end those gaps by calling and gently asking, “Who broke your fingers and wrists so you can’t dial a phone?” 

When I moved to Washington many, many years ago, I had no place to live.  Ray and his friend Tim Durkin had bought a fixer-upper house in Northwest Washington, so I asked if I could move in with them, join the great adventure, and earn my keep by my labor.  In sum, it did not go well.

It was winter, and there was a constant 15 mph wind coming through the gaping holes in the walls.  Water would pour through the living room ceiling if you forgot you could use the upstairs bathroom only on Thursdays when the whatchamacallit valve in the pipes was unfrozen.     

And Ray was vewy, vewy mean to me, even though he knew I was a delicate soul.  He forced me to get up well before 10:00 a.m. on weekdays.  I had to groom and dress MYSELF in five minutes, eat breakfast (which I had to make MYSELF) in seven, and ride into town with him for work.  In the car, I was forced to listen to him go on and on about the fascinating ins and outs of the Federal Home Loan Bank Act and which, uh, restaurants the lawyers in his office liked to go to at lunch hour. 

On weekends, Ray gave me harrowing jobs, including using a World War I, Army surplus steamer machine to remove the wallpaper in the upstairs bathroom.  A lot of the work was overhead, and the applicator part would leak boiling hot water all over me.  (Come to think of it, maybe that’s where the living room flooding came from.)  True, there was only one layer of wallpaper, but beneath it were at least 10 layers of old newspapers.  I wasn’t allowed to take a break until I steamed and peeled off all of them.  It was awful, though not devoid of educational value.  I learned from a headline in the last layer that a Mr. Dewey had defeated Truman, which was something I never knew.  President Truman must have won in some later election because to this day we call him President Truman, and he said, “The Buck Stops Here.”

Ray was also a bit of an exaggerator and never let the facts get in the way of either a good story or a good skewering of one of his “friends.”  Until the very end, Ray went around telling everyone he met, including total strangers, that as a young man he had lived with a guy who was so clueless and effete that he showed up for the roofing work wearing penny loafers without socks and carrying a sledgehammer.  What a fibber!  It was wingtips and a planishing hammer.  (Didn’t think I knew what a planishing hammer was, did you?)

So I moved out.  But we never moved out of each other’s lives.  Over the years we loved each other—hell no we didn’t SAY so—and he taught me a number of aphorisms that are truly meaningful and helpful to me.  I say them to myself, with his voice,

 all the time.

If I have written about myself too much here, then I have forgotten his, “It’s not all about you, Tylah.”  If I ever get borderline insubordinate with my bosses at work and jeopardize my job after 40 years in government, then I have forgotten Ray’s “What the hell do you care, Tylah, if USAID [fill in the blank]?”

And best of all, for when times are rough, we can be sad, but we are well advised to accept things we can’t change and to move forward with life fully, “It is what it is, Tyler.”      

Uncle Ray

By: Susan Posey

I first met Ray and Linda when they still lived on 30th Street and Tyler took me to their home for dinner for approval.  I remember there being a very lively discussion that night but the best part – I didn’t have to say much of anything!  I must have passed muster because fast forward a year or two and Ray was a groomsman in our wedding. For Tyler and me, it was one of the happiest days of our lives, surrounded by the people we loved the most.

Fast forward another 26 years, two children and three dogs later, Ray and Linda have been central to our lives every step of the way, particularly in their interest in Grace and Jack’s development. There are so many wonderful memories – gravy bowls, special birthdays and amazing dinners at the beautiful Tiernan home. As we raised our respective families, Ray and Linda could always be counted on for camaraderie and good counsel.  Ray, in particular, was ever ready with advice, whether solicited or not.  “Often wrong, never in doubt,” I think he said of himself. In reality, he was almost ALWAYS right.

I was very touched that Ray was so supportive of our decision to have my mother move in with us a couple of years ago. To prepare for her coming we did a kitchen renovation which Ray took great interest in. I did painstaking research on all the details and was particularly happy with the refrigerator I had chosen.  Upon observing the finished product, his first comment was, “That refrigerator has to go.”  Needless to say, the refrigerator is still there.

It’s hard to imagine the world without Ray’s irreplaceable presence. He will be in our hearts and thoughts always.

Family First

By: Carol, Gino & Family

I will always be grateful to Ray going the extra mile for the extended family which required much forbearance at times. A few memories come to mind:

• Fall 1984 – Taking me apartment hunting and then moving me into a basement apartment in DC, outfitted with extra Tiernan furniture plus $80 hard cash to tide me over.

• Fast forward to a memorable family holiday dinner involving a Smithfield ham, personally delivered by certain insistent grandparents. Immense and covered in green mold, the ham was so big that it broke the kitchen faucet and had to be moved to the bathtub to desalinate. A plumber had to be called for not only the faucet but also for a very clogged toilet by the guest room. The ham was inedible. Ray showed remarkable forbearance as the ham leftovers were being divvied up.

• Along the same lines, it’s a wonder that Ray and Linda didn’t change the house keys after all of my extended stays (and many other visits by family and friends). Ever welcoming, Ray patiently endured, cooked and shared cooking tips (“always cook eggs on low”) and gave home advice (“don’t underestimate the importance of lighting”). And through it all, Ray was always, always concerned for the well-being of others. 

We love you, Ray. 

With love,

Carol and Gino and family

Partners

By: Tim Matz

So after occupying for several years a town house on Capitol Hill as our law offices I was able to convince my partners, Frank Gailor and Jack Elias that we should move downtown. We found the ideal office space on the 12th floor of 734 15th Street and immediately moved even though the lease was not quite finished.

Within a day or so after the move things became real interesting for what was then the firm of Gailor, Elias and Matz. I asked Ray to come over to my office for a chat. We sat down together at which point I told him I had some good news and a little bad news. Ray being the optimist wanted to start with the good so I congratulated him and said that he had being unanimously elected to the partnership. He was really pleased with the news and then inquired of the other little matter. I said Oh we have a bit of a problem, to wit, Frank our Senior and Managing Partner, and the biggest business producer was leaving the firm immediately and Jack said he was too old to sign a 10 year lease. I will never forget Ray’s reply which was “WOW I get to assume a huge liability by guaranteeing the lease in return for becoming a partner in a firm, whose major source of income has just walked out the door. Those are my kind of odds, love it, I’m all in with you. Let’s get to work.”

The rest is history. The firm name changed to Elias, Matz Tiernan & Herrick, with the addition of Mike Herrick a few months latter, and Ray was my partner for the next forty something years.

Thanksgiving 1984

By: Annie Griffiths

There are so many funny stories about your Dad, but my favorite was when your folks were first married and I was out visiting for Thanksgiving. I volunteered to make my Mom’s wonderful apple pie, which she always baked in a paper bag.

So I did a bang up job of preparing the pie, put it in the paper bag and slid it into the oven. About ten minutes later, we smelled smoke and opened the oven door to a raging fire.

Being the resourceful girls that we are, your Mom and I beat out the flames, vacuumed the cinders, and put it back in the over in a fresh bag. Voila! Ten minutes later, a second fire.

So I get my Mom on the phone while Linda is vacuuming the pie for the second time, and find out that the bag only works in a gas stove. The electric coils caused the fires.

Needless to say, Ray has been providing a running commentary throughout the entire debacle. As I am figuring things out on the phone with my Irish Catholic, Midwestern, suburban, Republican girl scout of a mother, Ray suddenly grabs the phone and says:

“Well, Mary, I hope she’s good in bed, cause she sure can’t cook!” God, I love your Dad!