Uncle Ray (2.0!)
By: Melissa and Garrett Tiernan
We loved Ray, or “Uncle” Ray as we knew him from when we were very young!
Ray was close in age to our father, Peter, his father’s youngest brother. Ray was always so generous with help and encouragement. His pranks and dry humor, often signaled with a sly wink, were favorites: coming out of the water at Green Hill with blood on his leg, saying it was probably from a shark grazing him (actually from previous yard work at Joe and Ginnie’s); Ray trading the floor and embellishing with my Dad in telling the family legends and shenanigans, with full impressions and raucous, side-splitting laughter all around.
I was welcomed into Linda, Ray, and Lizzie’s home in the mid 80s for a summer internship at the law firm. What an amazing and life-changing experience! An introvert among extroverts in the Tiernan clan, I think I was a great puzzle to Ray and he was exceedingly patient with my slow immersion in all DC had to offer. From my side, though, he and Linda opened an entire wondrous world of intelligence, excitement, adventure, history, art and modeled an intense passion for life, work and family. I was in awe of him in the office, and loved seeing him in the whirl of it. I loved going to the Bank Board, sometimes sprinting in stocking feet by Lafayette Square and the WH, (even once being stopped by the motorcade!) with reams of documents to get the all-important time-stamp before deadline. He trusted us to get…it…done! Ray took me for my first oysters at the Old Ebbitt Grill. I mostly rode the metro, but he also let me drive his Saab in DC traffic…maybe to test his heart rate? Always an adventurer, that Ray. I spent hours in the museums and parks and he tried, alas without any success, to teach me tennis! But I also saw him in his role as a husband and father, so sweetly in love with Linda and Lizzie. I’ll always be grateful for the gift of that time with them and I still make Linda’s incredible chicken tarragon salad, to the raves of all.
Over the years, we were away across the country and regretfully out of touch for much of the family’s growing and thriving. But we always heard from Ray about how excited and proud he was of each of the kids and of Linda and her accomplishments. We loved how he stayed close to our parents and we know they both cherished the relationship.
But Garrett has the true Ray anecdote to share. We were trying to piece together our memories of him in our home in Rhode Island when we were kids. Our house was an off-campus stop for him, with the usual meals, laundry, and my Mom, Barbara, lending her excellent typing skills to unravel the pages of barely legible legal pads into Brown and law school assignments. We were trying to see if we actually remembered this or just remembered the impressions and being told about it later, since at the time Ray was at Brown we would have been just toddlers, 6 and 5 at most. But then we realized it was more likely law school…perhaps on breaks from DC? We would have been more like 8 and 7 yrs old then. Garret was able to pin it down with a burning memory that says it all about Ray’s straight-forward intelligence and possibly sly desire to shock. Garrett recalls: I remember it so clearly, because Ray would stay in my room when he was there and I would sleep in the sewing room across the hall. I remember him sitting at my little desk studying and I came in and asked him, “Hey, Uncle Ray, what are you studying?” and his answer, I’ll never forget, as my 7 year old self heard him say: “Manslaughter! I’m studying manslaughter, Garrett.” He then continued to explain it all in detail; Gar says he’s always remembered it and it may have kept him out of a few bar fights and made him careful to have everyone wear life-vests while on his boat. Thanks, Ray!
So glad you have had such a fulfilling and wonderful life, loved and admired deeply by so many. We’ll miss your intensity, kindness, love, pride of family and community, and your incredible Tiernan storytelling. May you rest in peace and live on in all of us! Much love to Lizzie, Emily, John, Mike, and Linda, all the spouses, grands and grands to be, Tiernan siblings, extended family and friends.
With Love, Melissa and Garrett Tiernan
